A Broken Heart

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.” Psalm 51:12
We don’t always feel the weight of our sin. Sure we feel guilty that we messed up or in the least, got caught. But what of true brokenness before the Lord? Sometimes it comes when we have drifted from him. And when we are in this state, can we praise him?
“David prayed, “O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.” In my journey back to the Lord, praise for him was non-existent. I saw afresh how my zeal in worship was mainly predicated upon my approval of myself. Oh Lord, if that’s what I really am, how can I praise you? I didn’t want to praise him. I wanted to feel sorry for myself and hide behind plausible-sounding excuses. When he came walking in the garden, i was busy fabricating my new fig-leaf outfit. I wanted to scurry past the memory of my sin and get everything tidied up so that I could approve of myself again. He taught me afresh that the covering I needed necessitated shed blood. Sweat, cries, beatings, nails, substitutionally death. Nothing to be scurried past easily on my way to self-perfection. Nothing tidy. Only this revelation would open my mouth to declare his praise.”
“…I came to understand again that what he wanted from me was not my good record. Instead, he wanted brokenness and humility that would make me love him and my neighbor.”
Brokenness that generates love and care.
Lenten devotion from Comforts from the Cross by Elyse Fitzpatrick. Day 18.

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